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  Thursday, August 26, 2004

News Headlines for the Year 2029

Well, I love science fiction, I love thinking about the future, I love humor and I like to read the news. So what could be better than this funny look at headlines from the year 2029, that I copied from a post by fellow programmer Lauren on The Code Project:

  1. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.

  2. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

  3. Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped.

  4. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

  5. Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.

  6. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).

  7. Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

  8. France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica.

  9. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

  10. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

  11. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

  12. 85-year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

  13. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

  14. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

  15. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

  16. Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

  17. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

  18. Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

  19. Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

  20. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.

  21. Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine

Blog Tag: Humor


At 8/26/2004 8:01 PM, Blogger Tara said...

Thanks for posting these.
Love the postage one.


At 8/27/2004 3:54 PM, Blogger gemmak said... did ya get the little list thingy under your comments?....I like it, I want it! :o)

At 8/27/2004 4:08 PM, Blogger dkgoodman said...

As always, back up your template before you muck with it. This is not for the faint of heart. ;)

Find where your post-footer is and figure out how to merge this in:

<p class="post-footer">
<em>posted <a href="<$BlogItemPermalinkUrl$>" title="permanent link"><$BlogItemDateTime$></a></em>  
<$BlogItemControl$><a class="comment-link" href="<$BlogItemPermalinkURL$>#comments"><$BlogItemCommentCount$> comments</a>:

<!-- comments enhancement by -->
<br><font size="-2">On <a href="<$BlogCommentPermalinkURL$>"><$BlogCommentDateTime$></a>, <$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...</font>


At 8/27/2004 4:30 PM, Blogger gemmak said...

Thanks for that :o) What a quick service! hehe. That's my tomorrow sorted out :o)

Thanks again. x.

At 8/31/2004 10:11 PM, Blogger Bal said...

What is your future is my past. Most of these
were dead on, though 10 years earlier. The
item about the last conservative? That happened
in 2006, after President Kerry (in his role
as The Messiah) had all the Swift Boat Vets
For Truth members executed. Michael Moore
denied that it was his idea and Hillary just

At 9/04/2005 4:34 AM, Blogger Naxos said...

Hi, I was reading bloggerhacks comments, and I found this post. I liked the recent coments list on your footer, and i copy-pasted the code into my template. It looks fine, but there is a problem: the BlogCommentDateTime tag doesnot link to the coments, it does link to my blog url...

I need some advice to correct that... can you help?

Thanks in advance

At 3/06/2006 1:56 PM, Blogger Sampsa said...

Thanks for your great comments hack. Much more stylish and faster to load than a sidebar version that I was originally looking for.


At 3/10/2006 3:58 PM, Blogger dkgoodman said...

The comments hack has been updated since I posted it here. See the latest hacks at

At 12/27/2009 7:02 PM, Blogger bathmate said...

most interesting posting. i liked it. :-)



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