If I Was A...
These meme things drive me crazy. But Lisa insisted, and who can say no to Lisa? What follows is a list of occupations, and what I would do if I had that occupation.
If I could be a scientist... I would bio-engineer a pest that would consume all bio-engineered organisms. (What? You got a problem with that?)
If I could be a farmer... I would have a ranch that was self-sustaining so I didn't need utilities or food from anyone.
If I could be a musician... my music would have been blasted from loudspeakers and driven all the terrorists out of Iraq.
If I could be a doctor... I'd perform studies on all the so-called health supplements and determine if they were good or bad, and publicize the results.
If I could be a painter... my art would tell stories.
If I could be a gardener... my garden would be a place where birds and butterflies and other little critters would want to live. Wait... it is!
If I could be a missionary... I'd have to find a religion that didn't drive me crazy, one that brought people together instead of setting them apart, and then I'd spread the word far and wide.
If I could be a chef... my wife would hate me, because she's the great cook in the family.
If I could be an architect... I'd design buildings that had a modest beauty, that were easy on the environment, that treated people like guests and not gophers.
If I could be a linguist... I'd be cunning at it.
If I could be a psychologist... I probably still wouldn't understand women.
If I could be a librarian... I'd hide in the stacks and read.
If I could be an athlete... I'd finally have my wish of making people laugh. Too bad I couldn't be a comedian.
If I could be a lawyer... I'd sue anyone filing frivolous or harmful lawsuits, and I'd sue the government to make it serve the people instead of itself.
If I could be an innkeeper... I'd start a chain called The Seven Deadly Inns.
If I could be a professor... I'd be Indiana Jones.
If I could be a writer... my life would be complete.
If I could be a backup dancer... I'd need really, really good medical coverage.
If I could be a llama-rider... I'd start a llama stables called Llama-Rama.
If I could be a bonnie pirate... I'd have me a big parrot on me shoulder, named Scratch. harrr!
If I could be a midget stripper... I'd only strip the female midgets.
If I could be a proctologist... I'd go blind.
If I could be a TV-Chat Show host... I'd ask more interesting questions than, "Who are you dating now?"
If I could be an actor... I'd want to captain a starship.
If I could be a judge... you wouldn't want to be a criminal.
If I could be a Jedi... I'd have a lot of duct tape. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it binds the universe together. Oh, wait... that's the Force!
If I could be a mob boss... the FBI would have to have much better technology than they have now if they wanted to catch me.
If I could be a backup singer... you wouldn't want the lead singer to lose his voice.
If I could be a CEO... I would acquire companies that irritated me and sell off their parts, then fire their CEO and ridicule their investors.
If I could be a movie reviewer... I'd sue any movie company that quoted me without permission.
If I could be a monkey's uncle... what would that make me?
If I could be a CSI... I'd want to work with Marg Helgenberger. oooh, baby!
If I could be a computer nerd... hey... I am one!
If I could be a Kindergarten teacher... I'd send the kids home and teach the parents instead. They're the ones who need it most.
Blog Tag: Chatter
6 Comments:
You only needed to do 5, but good job! lol
did you know, btw, that Marg is from Nebraska? :)
All?! You did them ALL?
You're going to make the rest of us look bad!
All of them wonderful, too.
Llama-Rama. That's the best thing I've heard since the llama llotion over at Grover's blog.
LOL at the midget stripper one the most. ;)
Bravo!
If I could be a computer programmer...I would design programs that EVERYONE could understand.
If I could be a biomed engineer...I would design medical equipment that would still work after being dropped or dunked.
If I could be a biomed engineer...I would design morphine pumps with built in parameters to prevent busy nurses from setting them at lethal doses. (We had a real close call last night.)
If I could be God...there would be no such thing as PMS. Or, men would get it instead.
If I could be God...every day would be 30 hours long. Hours spent at work would stay the same.
If I could be God...ice cream, chocolate and cookies would be healthy, low cal.treats. Broccoli would be junk food.
If I could be an inventor...I would convert my car to run on trash and dog fur.
If I could be an inventor...I would invent a self-cleaning house.
If I could be an inventor...I would design a dishwasher that could put the dishes away and a dryer that could put the clothes back in the closet.
If I could be a programmer...I would design a blog site that would allow comments to be corrected after being published.
(I wonder what horrors I'm going to find tomrrow when I read what I wrote.)
Lol....yup you can blame me but I can blame Sque! ....for a guy who hates meme's you kinda answered alot! lol. Maybe it's safest you stick with being a computer nerd and avoid proctology! :o)
Didn't know that, Lisa. Do they all look like that? ;)
I did 'em all, Mary. In protest. But I enjoyed it. :mumble:
Nice to hear you're back at work, Melissa. Hope your hand is better.
Maybe Sque did, and maybe Sque didn't. I don't know Sque, and Sque don't know me.
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home