King Arthur and the Witch
We get mail daily here at eMusings. (Do I really need the "e" in mail? Snail mail is so last century.) I try to adhere to one of the common courtesies of the internet: I don't reveal the content of mail I receive unless the author consents or I reveal it without identifying the author. On the other hand, another common courtesy of the internet is attribution. I like to credit the sources I draw on. Quite the conundrum, eh? Here's where you come in, dear contributor. If you send me something and don't care if I identify you, please include in the message the phrase "okay to publish" or "okay to attribute" or some such. Also be aware that I reserve the right to "tweak" stories like the one below.
At any rate, I'm pleased to present below the latest contribution from the eMusings mailbag. I really like this one.
King Arthur and the Witch
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered Arthur his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer, and if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question? This: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
Arthur returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men, even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for surely she would have the answer. But the price would be high; the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for her hard bargaining.
After a year seeking the solution to his quest, Arthur was still without a proper answer. The last day of the year had arrived and Arthur was facing death. He had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, on one condition. He would have to agree to her price first. Faced with the alternative, Arthur consented. What could she possibly want?
The witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot! Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur's closest friend.
Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, she made obscene noises. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life, and he knew from dragon breath. He'd faced dragons.
Arthur refused to force his friend to marry the witch and endure such a terrible burden, but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke to Arthur.
Lancelot said that nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life, compared to the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question:
"What a woman really wants," she croaked, "is to be in charge of her own life."
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom, and Lancelot and the witch had a beautiful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached, and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. Even so, he was totally unprepared for the sight that awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. After recovering his voice, the astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible, deformed self only half the time, and a beautiful woman the other half.
"Which would you prefer?" she asked. "Beautiful during the day... or during the night?"
Lancelot pondered his predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at an old witch at night? Or a hideous witch by day but a beautiful woman for wondrous, intimate moments at night?
What would you do?
His response can be found in the comments to this post. :)
Blog Tag: Humor
Posted 5/03/2005 11:40:00 PM
L
On 5/04/2005 12:21 AM, 
dkgoodman said...
On 5/04/2005 12:22 AM, dkgoodman said...
On 5/04/2005 9:13 AM, Melissa said...
On 5/04/2005 10:24 AM, dkgoodman said...
On 5/04/2005 11:51 AM, Melissa said...
5 Comments:
Before I give you Lancelot's choice, let me tell you what my first thought was: The witch could be beautiful only half the day... but who said it had to be only daylight or night-time? I'd have her be beautiful from noon to midnight, and I'd be asleep much of the time she was a hag. What do you think? Good answer? Sadly, Lancelot is smarter than I am.
Noble Lancelot, knowing how the witch answered Arthur's question, said that he would allow her to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, the witch announced that she would be beautiful 24 hours a day, because he respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now... The moral to this story? Next comment. :)
The moral is...
If you don't let a woman have her own way...
Things are going to get ugly.
I loved this story, too. In addition to being in charge of her own life, there are two other things that women want (or, at least I want), to be treated with respect and kindness. Am I correct in assuming that men want the same three things? Inside, I don't think that we're all that different.
I don't think kindness is high on a man's list. Control and respect, certainly. Control meaning control over your life and destiny.
My guess is that women want control, respect, security and love, and that men want control, respect, excitement and sex. :)
Women want relationships, children, communication, respect and a soul-mate.
Men want friends, possessions, respect, control and sex.
Of course, these are broad generalizations that are different for every person.
Found some fun quotes on men and women.
I saw Bill Maher on the Late, Late Show late, late, last night, and he was saying that institutions that coincide with the natural instincts of humans succeed better than those that oppose them. Capitalism works better than communism because humans are naturally more greedy than altruistic, he said. Bachelorhood works better than marriage because marriage goes against the grain.
I'm not sure I agree with him, totally. Society domesticates people as they mature, their natural instincts are refined to understand that altruistic behavior works in their favor. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. It's where altruism benefits others more than yourself that it is harder to go with it.
Lol, Dave.
When I was younger, I wanted the same things that you listed as being what women want. With time and increased independence, both emotional and financial, I now want what men want, but with kindness thrown in. Perhaps kindness is not on your list because you receive plenty. Sometimes it's not until something is missing that you feel its absence. I know this from bitter experience.
I got about half-way through your quotes about men and women and at first, I found them to be funny. But after awhile, they started sounding sad to me. For the most part, the quotes sounded like they were written by people who blame all men, or all women, because of the misdeeds of a few. Like most women, I have been (choose expletive of your choice) by men, but that doesn't mean that I blame all men. I'm still oddly attracted to men and firt with them at every opportunity.(The elderly male patients love it.)
It did not escape my attention that sex was listed twice on your lists of what men want and not at for women. What a sad state of affairs that is. No wonder there is so much conflict between the sexes. ;)
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