Next Blog

  Wednesday, July 06, 2005

The Dalai Lama Dog

So, the Dalai Lama is visiting New York, and approaches a hot dog cart. The hot dog vendor recognizes him and says, "Hello, Dalai!"

The Dalai Lama says to the hot dog vendor, "Make me one with everything."

The vendor hands the Dalai Lama a hot dog, and the Dalai Lama gives him a twenty-dollar bill and waits patiently for a minute. Finally, he asks, "What about my change?"

The hot dog vendor replies, "Change must come from within."

The Dalai Lama admitted this was true, and ate his hot dog, but it gave him bad breath and bothered his sore tooth.

The Dalai Lama then walked to the dentist to get a filling. Although old and frail, he walked often, and he walked barefoot, as evidenced by the thickness of the soles of his feet. It is for this reason he is known as the "super-calloused fragile mystic exhibiting halitosis."

The dentist inspected the Dalai Lama's tooth, and said he could fill the cavity right then. When he offered to use Novacaine, the Dalai Lama declined, saying he wanted to "transcend dental medication."

Happy birthday to the Dalai Lama, who turns 70 today!

The Dalai Lama's Instructions for Life

(Inspired by Elkit in Wonderland)

Blog Tag: News   Blog Tag: Humor


At 7/07/2005 12:21 AM, Blogger Melissa said...

Funny jokes. I also liked the instructions for life. The only thing I disagreed with was the approach love with reckless abandon part. That sounds dangerous, unless he is referring to "love thy neighbor" kind of love.

At 7/07/2005 1:00 AM, Blogger dkgoodman said...

Dangerous in some cases, but I think that approaching love, perhaps, requires a certain disregard for fears of rejection, embarrassment and incompatibility. Personally, I've found that even when a girl seems too tall, or too skinny, or whatever, those minor factors aren't so important once you've made the approach and gotten to know someone. I've done well with this approach, I think.

Beyond that, I think commitment and consummation could indeed be dangerous if engaged with reckless abandonment. But what the heck. I like adventure. :)

At 7/07/2005 12:13 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

Are you talking about me? I'm not tall, everyone else is short. :)

I'm actually pretty good at asking people out. (I have to do the asking, men act like they're afraid of me.)

It's with commitment and consummation that I have serious issues. Having waited 5 years to get married, I think that you understand.

But, it is true that one can be too careful. I'm sure that I am missing opportunities for happiness, but it is so hard to trust again after having been betrayed by my husband. (Be thankful that I will not say anything more on the subject.)

At 7/07/2005 12:32 PM, Blogger dkgoodman said...

Are you tall? :)

I'm overly cautious by nature, and I work to overcome that. That's why I collect so many taglines on the subject:

A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow.

He that leaveth nothing to chance will do few things ill, but he will do very few things.

If it was easy, anybody could do it!

If you don't risk anything you risk even more.

Indecision is the thief of opportunity.

Life by the yard is very hard; life by the inch is a cinch.

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.

etc., etc.

Those are all for me. I don't believe in life after death.

At 7/07/2005 11:14 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

Thanks for the laugh Dave! What clever jokes :)

At 7/08/2005 12:52 AM, Blogger dkgoodman said...

Thanks, Michelle. I stole them all, and melded them together. That's not wrong, is it? ;)

At 7/08/2005 7:48 AM, Blogger magz said...

hey dave...

anyone ever tell ya you bear a remarkable resemblence to another dave, mr. berry?

thanks for yer kind comments.. and what's up with ewe these days?

At 7/08/2005 2:50 PM, Blogger dkgoodman said...

lol, magz! Trying to tell me something? :)

By the way, Melissa, the four year wait before I got married wasn't necessarily from fear of commitment. During that time I already felt committed to stay with Connie for life, and I didn't feel like I needed a piece of paper from the government to assert how I already felt. After four years, though, it began to make sense to do so anyway, and it no longer seemed like I was "giving in" to government oversight of my private life. I've always had a rebellious streak. :)

At 7/08/2005 7:05 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

Dave, I didn't mean to imply that you were unsure if Connie was who you wanted to marry. I was referring to that huge step of making it legal, which is an issue for most men, I think.

Thank you, anyway, for clarifying that. Please re-read your post, "Scared of Commitment" dated 9/28/04. Have your views changed or am I just as confused as ever? :)

At 7/09/2005 1:41 AM, Blogger dkgoodman said...

Yeah, it was both, really. I wasn't afraid of the commitment to Connie, but I hated the thought of going through a divorce if she changed her mind. And something about a piece of paper from the government makes it worse. I generally avoid walking on other people's grass, but if there's a sign that says, "Stay off the grass," I sure want to walk on it.

Sharp eye you had for that seeming discrepency. You'd make a great... nurse. :)

At 7/09/2005 12:24 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

Thank you for being so gracious. Had I done that to my husband, he would have cursed my too good memory and told me to stop being such a damned attorney. :)


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home