Depression Repression
Friday. Woof. I've been working for three whole weeks now, and it's great to be back. But boy, am I bushed. I think that's part of the problem.
You see, last time I was out of work, I got really depressed. It wasn't that hide-under-the-covers, I-just-wanna-die kind of depression, it was just a gloomy feeling that didn't want to dissipate. Those who knew me wondered why I wasn't so happy, not so jokey, not as eager to get things done.
So this time, I worked harder when I was out of work to not sink into that self-defeating, self-sustaining depression that hit me last time. A big part of that was just a resolve to stay more upbeat, and to stay productive. Working on my mystery novel did wonders. It helped, but didn't totally dispel the dark clouds.
So now that I'm working, why aren't I better? Last time I got a job I was euphoric for months. This time I'm just less depressed. But I think I've got its number.
The problem with attitudes is that they filter your perceptions. If you're feeling good, then everything that happens is good, and you ignore the bad. If you're down, then everything that happens is bad, and you ignore the good. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you're Republican, then anything a Democrat does is bad, even if it wouldn't be bad should a Republican do it. And if you're a Democrat, then anything a Republican does is evil, despite the fact that you'd ignore it in a Democrat. It's only bad when the other guy does it.
So today, I made myself smile more. I paid more attention to what's good in the world. And it's helping. Like tonight on my way home. There are two sets of escalators up to the real world from the dark, damp netherworld that is the SF Muni. The second set of escalators always goes the opposite direction of what I need, and today the first set was out of service. Isn't that nice? It's Muni's way of telling me to "Lighten up!"
If I could just acclimate to my new sleep schedule, I think that would take care of the rest. It's amazing what a good night's sleep will do for you. Some good news wouldn't hurt, either.
Or this.
Blog Tag: Chatter Blog Tag: Depression
Posted 8/20/2004 11:33:00 AM
L
On 8/21/2004 8:25 AM, 
Lisa said...
On 8/21/2004 9:31 AM, dkgoodman said...
On 8/21/2004 8:58 PM, beFrank said...
On 8/21/2004 11:45 PM, dkgoodman said...
On 8/22/2004 10:08 AM, magz said...
On 8/22/2004 10:17 AM, dkgoodman said...
On 8/23/2004 4:08 PM, magz said...
On 8/23/2004 4:10 PM, magz said...
On 6/19/2005 11:25 AM, Melissa said...
9 Comments:
You're on the right track! There is nothing that a good attitude and perhaps some prozac cannot resolve. :)
Try the attitude first, then get the prozac if you need it. LoL
My coworker was quite amused by the beer-drinking bear. I think he was just happy that a bear would be able to keep up with him. :-)
Have a good day!
Thanks, Lisa!
I'm one of those quirky people who don't believe in drugs. Well, I believe that there are drugs, I just don't use them, except for occasional antihistamines, analgesics or antibiotics when I think it's absolutely necessary, and then in the smallest practical doses for the shortest practical time (which for antibiotics means the entire dose for the prescribed time).
The older I've gotten, let's not go into how old that is, the more I've taken a global view of things and the less self-centered my outlook. Which means I have more compassion for people everywhere, but also that I take it more personally when global conditions deteriorate. Which they seem to keep doing.
I have a mantra that keeps me going right now. Like an affirmation. Only my affirmation isn't to look in the mirror and say, "You are beautiful" or, "Today you're not going to curse all politicians." No, those aren't the affirmations that work for me. Here's the one that works for me, the one that I recite to brighten up my day: "I have a job!"
No matter what happens to me these days, whether it's missed ferries, terrible traffic or bodily aches, I know that it's a minor thing compared to being unemployed. Being productive again makes everything better.
The extra money doesn't hurt, either. :)
Drink heavily. Works for me :)
-beFrank-
lol, beFrank. :)
howdy pard... as ya may know i been networkin like mad... and i just borrowed this post from ya to put it in our bipolar group as inspirational reading. yer too cool dave... blog on brother!
Just what are you trying to say there, Magz? :)
I THINK IT WAS THIS, DAVE
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press since no-one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security
number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep.
Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self esteem. Please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you.
well, i give up. apparently my gruop jelously gaurds cut n pastes! so go ahead, dump me, i wont take it too personal!
In your "Motivational Quotes" section, I found the following quote by Shirley MacLaine:
"Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power."
It sounds trite, but everyday I count my blessings. My life has not exactly gone as planned, but I do have so much to be grateful for. I think about what's good, as much as possible, and force myself to smile, even when home alone. Smiling really does make me feel better.
Other things that help me through a rough patch are working in the garden, especially digging with a shovel. The exercise and sunshine do wonders. (One of my nick-names is Digger.)
This doesn't come easily for me, but it also helps to talk to friends about your feelings. I have yet to meet anyone who knows only happiness. Most people can relate to emotional pain.
Thank you for the bear drinking beer story. I'm always looking for reasons to laugh. It sometimes gets me in trouble, but it is worth it. Laughing feels so good.
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