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  Thursday, September 09, 2004

Cat Haikus

Water cooler style,
Amusements arrive daily,
Via my email:

Cat Haikus

Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow's taken.

Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost interest.

The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.

Cats can't steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail's
Pulled again, I'll learn.

There's no dignity
In being sick - which is why
I don't tell you where.

Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
You're an idiot.

The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.

So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle's closer.

Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.

Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service: none.

My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?

Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.

My affection is conditional.
Don't stand up,
It's your lap I love.

I don't mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.

So you call this thing
Your "cat carrier." I call
These my "blades of death."

My cat Dingus in one of her frequent patiently annoyed moods:




Blog Tag: Images   Blog Tag: Dingus   Blog Tag: Humor   Blog Tag: Haiku

3 Comments:

At 9/09/2004 5:17 PM, Blogger Tara said...

I didn't know my cat was a poet... or sending e-mail for that matter. :)

Funny stuff.

Tara

 
At 9/10/2004 8:51 AM, Blogger magz said...

"it's not... NICE.... to humiliate yer cat...." Coolio-iest dave... i gotta page of different cat haiku archived in august somewhere... things in my mailbox (thanks taz)... it's definetly written by a cat. "Behold... Elevator-butt!"

 
At 9/10/2004 11:23 AM, Blogger gemmak said...

Absolutely the most hilarious cat pic in years!!!! Love it.

 

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