Red Flags

A short time ago I read a blog post about dieters slowing the NY subway because they passed out from malnutrition. It seems to my muddled mind that if you're passing out on the subway, that might be a sign that you have eating issues.

I've always had a kind of "sixth sense" about people I meet. Having lived through the sixties, I call them vibes. When I meet someone, I get a vibe about what kind of person they are. Now, I know it's not mental telepathy or anything mystical, it's just a subconscious sense of who they are based on their dress, cleanliness, face wrinkles, gestures and other subliminal clues.

I don't know if this can be taught, other than simply advising you to be open to the impressions you get, don't pre-judge, and listen to that wee voice in your head. Also, you need to watch out for those "red flags" that give warning about people and situations.

For instance, one of the red flags I've taught our daughter is to see how boyfriends treat clerks and service people. "If your date is nice to you, but mean to the waiter, he's not a nice guy," I've told her. There are lots of red flags... Cheating at games. Weaseling out of paying bills. Not admitting when you're wrong. Your date never wanting to see you on Saturday nights.

Watching out for red flags and paying attention to vibes has saved me on more than one occasion. For instance, a former employer once offered me a deal where he'd write me a check from a business account he was closing if I'd refund half of it back to him. Otherwise he'd just let the money revert to the government, he said. Well, I didn't want to have anything to do with him, and I rejected his offer. He wasn't pleased. Turns out he was required by law to give me the money from that account, and he was trying to weasel some of it back. He ended up sending me the full amount.

On the other hand, you can't be too suspicious. Debbie was in France with friends a few years ago, and two French boys offered to take her and her friend to visit Monaco. Debbie thought it was a bad idea to go with two strange boys to another country, but her friend said, "Not everyone is an ax murderer!" Debbie's sense was that the boys were harmless, but she was being cautious. In the end, she and her friend told their other friends where and what they were doing, and with whom, and had a fun and uneventful time in Monaco. (I still shudder, though, at the thought.) But it helps to remember that not everyone is an ax murderer.

Got any red flags to share?


Blog Tag: Opinion