A Bad First Date

Teenaged boys are strange animals. I know. I was one once.

One night when I was about 17 I met some friends at the (now-gone) Farrell's Ice Cream Parlour in Woodland Hills. I don't remember the reason, but I was wearing a full-head gorilla mask. I may not have had a reason, and certainly no sensible reason. Reasoning is something that teenaged boys seem able to survive without.

There was a cute blonde girl sitting nearby, whose name I've sadly forgotten, and being emboldened by my anonymity, I struck up a conversation with her. We chatted for a bit, and I asked her out on a date. To my surprise, she accepted.

Perhaps I should have given some thought to the fact that an unknown girl would date a guy in a gorilla mask, sight-unseen. Even if I had, I doubt it would have mattered. I was a teenage male.

We went on a date, without my mask, and it was a disaster. One of those nights where every conversation dies in the womb, and nervousness robs you of your last ounce of social grace, which I was sorely lacking to begin with. What does it mean when a girl likes you better as a gorilla?

I never saw her again.


One more story involving that mask...

I used to go to a place in the San Fernando Valley, now gone, called Zorba's the Greek, a restaurant that featured international folk dancing. It was not the kind of place I would have gone to on my own, but my friend Bal cajoled me into it, and I liked it, and we became regulars. It was there I met my wife. Great people, great music. I even learned some of the dances.

One Halloween, probably the same year as my ill-fated date, I went to Zorba's dressed in my gorilla mask and a business suit. Normally I wore jeans and tennies, not a suit and shiny shoes. I walked in the door, suited and gorilla masked, and Shelby, the woman at the register, took one glance at me and said, "Hi, Dave!"


I don't know what this all means, but my life doesn't seem to have suffered on account of it. Except, perhaps, some self-esteem.


Blog Tag: Chatter   Blog Tag: Halloween