Deep Impact
PASADENA, Calif. - A mysterious transmission was intercepted today by NASA's Deep Impact flyby spacecraft, just hours before its impactor module was scheduled to intercept the Tempel 1 comet (due to collide Sunday, July 3, 10:52pm PDT). Cryptographers at JPL and the NSA, using sophisticated term frequency analysis and syntax estimation produced the following transcription, translated as nearly as possible to American English using word-frequencies and common grammatical constructions culled from Google:
Voice 1 (hereafter referred to as Lenny): Hey, Squiggy. Do you see what I see?
Voice 2 (hereafter referred to as Squiggy): I'm not falling for that trick again.
Lenny: No, really, I mean it this time. Look at monitor 3.
Squiggy: We've been in this orbit for twelve thousand years, and whenever we pass this planet, you pull the same stunt. Well, this time, it's not gonna work.
Lenny: But Squiggy, I was only joking before. This is for real.
[At this point a beeping sound can be heard in the transmission.]
Lenny and Squiggy: Hey, what's that?
Squiggy: Proximity alarm, moron. What did you do this time?
Lenny: Nothing. I was just sitting here. Why don't you see what the computer is beeping about?
Squiggy: Oh, yeah. Good idea.
Squiggy: What coordinates are these? Do we have any sensors pointed that way?
Lenny: Monitor 3.
Squiggy: Oh, yeah. Lemme look.
Squiggy: Hey, what's that?
Lenny: I don't know, but it's coming right at us.
Squiggy: That thing's over 800 pounds!
Lenny: It's almost as big as your mother.
[Smacking sounds can be heard in the transmission.]
Lenny: And it's built like her, too!
[More smacking sounds.]
Lenny: All right, all right! It's getting closer. That thing is fast.
Squiggy: This can't be right. It's going like 23,000 miles an hour!
Lenny: It ain't gonna hit us. Its trajectory is a bit off.
Squiggy: Not any more. Look at that! It's changing course. It's gonna get us dead center.
Lenny: You said we'd be safe out here. "Nobody's gonna look for a couple of two-bit hoodlums in the middle of a comet", you said. "It's a free ride," you said. What do you say now, Squiggy?
Squiggy: Fasten your safety belt and return your seat to its full, upright position.
Lenny: Mommy!
[End of transmission.]
Blog Tag: Humor
7 Comments:
Silly, silly Dave. He he... :)
When Dave blogs in a forest and there's nobody around to hear, am I really laughing out loud?
Thanks again for everything you do Dave. Oh, except for the pictures that make me go ewww.
lol!
Laffin my AO :o)
Ok I'm almost embarrassed to say i was a fan of Lenny & Squiggy!
Rusty's uncle, the rocket scientist, is gonna love this one!
And here I thought that I was just testing my blog link!
LMAO! hehehehehe
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