Shit-Magnets and Fuck-Ups

If you're offended by the title of this post, please don't read it.

There are many types of people in the world. Thank goodness. Today I'm going to talk about shit-magnets and fuck-ups.

The shit-magnet attracts bad luck. They don't have to seek out trouble, it somehow finds them. It's not so much that they cause trouble, it's more that they don't avoid situations where trouble is likely, and in some cases there's just nothing they could do to avoid it. Bad karma, I guess.

A fuck-up, on the other hand, causes trouble by their ignorance and ineptitude. Unfortunately, the trouble they cause doesn't always strike them, it is just as likely to mess up other people.

Today, we discovered we were the victims of a fuck-up.

When we moved to Oregon, Connie left her old job. She misses many of her co-workers, but she was happy to be escaping the sphere of influence of the store manager there. He was a fuck-up.

Little did we know, however, the extent of his powers. At first, it was simple negligence. He never got around to mailing Connie her final check. When Connie called, he admitted that he'd been busy and it hadn't gotten mailed. He promised it would be sent out.

Days go by, and no check appears in our mailbox. Connie calls again. Fuck-up says he gave it to someone to mail, and she hadn't done so. Now, I've been a manager myself, and I don't mind that he delegated the task. It's what managers do. But he should have checked to make sure that the check had been sent. What can you do? He's a fuck-up. But here's where his true talent becomes apparent. He said he was terribly sorry, and he'd overnight it to us.

Days go by, and still no check. Connie calls to enquire. Fuck-up says he sent it DHL, and gives her the tracking number. I enter the number into the DHL website, and sure enough, he did give it to DHL for overnight delivery. But they delivered it to the wrong address!

I click the link to see the recipient's signature, and there are codes indicating it was left at the front door. Same number as our address, but a different street. We drive down that street, and we can't even find a house with the same number as ours. I called DHL, and the DHL agent couldn't believe it either.

You see the power of a fuck-up? He got DHL to fuck-up for him! Now that's a fuck-up!


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