You Know It's Xmas When...

You know it's Christmas-time when...

They have chestnuts at the market...

The Costco parking lot is full...

The music in stores is even more annoying than usual...

Sales of aspirin go up...

Houses are decorated like a suburban Las Vegas...

Your mail has quadrupled in volume...

You get greeting cards from companies that have no soul...

Turkeys are running scared... and so is UPS...

Fruitcakes are being purchased or retrieved from the attic for gifting to the next victim...

The state of California has added those fruitcakes to the "Warning: May Contain..." lists...

Your kids are just greedy little consumers...

People start dropping hints about products they'd like...

Curmudgeons with nothing better to do sue any corporation or municipality that has the audacity to display holiday decorations...

Lawyers everywhere rub their hands together and smirk...

The beggars in the street are wearing pointy red hats with white trim...

You wonder what incredible faux pas you'll commit this year at the company's "holiday" party...

People sing about pear trees with partridges, and there are no drugs involved...

There's a fat man in a loud outfit at the mall with a pointy-eared assistant
(and I'm not talking about Captain Kirk)...

Your diet is a thing of the past... and so is your bank balance...

Imports from China of toxic toys and exploding gadgets have increased tenfold...

People are driving like Evel Kneivel on crack...

There's a depressing disappearance of mini-skirts and decolletage
(except in Los Angeles)...

Shoppers have hangovers and sadists are ringing bells on the sidewalks...

Bloggers start posting more stupid lists than usual...




Posted by Dave    Blog Tag: Chatter