The Fine Print

Have you seen those drug commercials that end with a voice softly reading the fine print at high speed? Something along the lines of, "May cause sleeplessness, nausea, loss of sexual function or death. Don't use if you're currently taking an MAOI inhibitor, aspirin or M&Ms. Blah, blah, blah."

Don't you hate those? Why would you possibly want to take that drug after hearing the possible side effects? On the other hand, if you're going to take a drug, isn't it nice knowing what to expect?

In that vein (hah-hah, get it?), what if people were advertised the same way, with bold assertions about the benefits that are followed by a set of weasel words? Something like this...

• Dave can change light bulbs, program your VCR and fix your computer.


• Dave isn't afraid to hold the door for you, ask for directions or compliment your shoes.


• Dave is funny, smart and signals before changing lanes.


• Over-exposure to nerds may cause headaches.


• Not recommended for conversations about sports.


• In violent situations, don't rely on Dave to prevail in a physical confrontation.


• Your mileage may vary.

Blog Tag: Chatter