The Oxygen Rule

This post is in some ways a follow-up to my previous post, Do You Deserve a Kid?

When you take a commercial flight and the attendant gives the safety instructions, they always say that in the event of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down and parents with small children should put on their own mask before putting a mask on their child. I call this "The Oxygen Rule". I'm a big fan of this rule.

The reasoning for this rule is that if you don't mask yourself first and you pass out before getting the mask on your child, you're both lost. By taking care of yourself first, you have a better chance of taking care of your child. This rule can be applied to many areas of life.

Presumably you want your spouse to be happy and to love you. But if your spouse loves you and wants you to be happy, then you'll be disappointing your spouse if you yourself aren't happy. To make your spouse happy you have to also strive to be happy yourself, and to love yourself, and in that way you have a better chance of making your spouse happy. That's the Oxygen Rule for relationships.

A good citizen will give some of their time and money to others, to make their community and their neighbors more successful. But if you do this to extreme, then by not taking care of yourself you become a burden to society instead of a boon. For a successful community, it's also of benefit to be successful yourself.

The basis of the Oxygen Rule, you see, is that by taking care of yourself you're of more benefit to others. Keep yourself fit. Keep yourself safe. Keep yourself happy. Then go out and more successfully help others. That's the Oxygen Rule.

Let me add one more thing, to clarify something that could be misinterpreted. Sometimes the better thing is to do nothing for someone. Love your kid like crazy, but don't spoil them. Don't protect them from every scrape and fall. Don't give them everything they ask for. Don't fight all their battles for them. Don't do their homework. The best thing you can do for your kid is to prepare them for life, and spoiling them robs them of those lessons. It's hard, but it's best. Tough love.

To teach your kid to be a good person, be a good person.

Teaching your kid to fish is better than giving your kid a fish. Especially if I'm the kid. I hate fish.


Posted by Dave    Blog Tag: Opinion