Next Archive - April 2005

Top 17 Bumper Stickers

From the eMusings mailbag, the top 17 bumper stickers that everyone wants to see:

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an ass.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings."

The proctologist called. They found your head.

Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have any film.

Save your breath... You'll need it to blow up your date.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke off.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Guys, just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

Some people just don't know how to drive. I call these people "Everyone But Me"

Don't like my driving? Quit watching me!

If you can read this... I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

Some people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them.

Try not to let your mind wander. It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

Hang up and drive!

And the top bumper sticker everyone wants to see:

Welcome to America, now speak English!


Blog Tag: Humor   Blog Tag: Mailbag

Dance Me to the End of Love

I just heard a great song on KFOG. It had the feel of a Billie Holiday song, with bluesy vocals and great jazz players behind her. Click the Listen link on Madeleine Peyroux's home page and you can hear a clip of Dance Me to the End of Love. It's like being transported to another time.


Blog Tag: Links   Blog Tag: Reviews

Woman Walking Dog Has Poop Bag Snatched

I just read this story. A woman walking her dog had her bag of droppings snatched. When he saw what was in it, the guy threw down the bag in disgust and demanded money. He drew a .22 automatic and tried to fire (twice!), but the gun didn't go off. He ran to a waiting car and fled the scene.

I'm so dumbfounded by this I don't even know what to say.


Blog Tag: News

The Sounds of Spring

No matter what time I set my alarm for, I always seem to wake up before it goes off. Unless, of course, I forget to set the alarm, then I oversleep.

At any rate, I was lying in bed this morning, listening to the sun come up. I can hear it come up, because the birds start twittering in the backyard. I heard the loud call of the quail, ca-CAW-caw, ca-CAW-caw! I heard the laughing call of our Western bluejay, rahk-rahk-rahk-rahk-rahk. And I heard the song of a bird I've never seen, that we refer to as the sad-song bird, three long whistled falling notes in a minor key, deeeee, dooooo, doooo. Deeeee, doooo, doooo.

Once or twice a night, we hear a loud shriek from what we believe to be some kind of owl, schreeet!


Blog Tag: Chatter

Saturday night, we spring the clock ahead again.

Stop the Insanity

According to this article at Wired News, the U.S. Government plans to refer to RFID chips as "proximity chips" or "contactless chips".

It's distressing enough that the government will be putting these chips in our passports, with our personal data, and not even bothering to encrypt them. Some are even calling the new passports a beacon for terrorists, terrorists who would be able to identify Americans by their passport RFID chips without the passports even being visible. It's also distressing that the government is attempting to deceive us.

To put its citizens at ease, the government, recognizing the invasion of privacy issues regarding RFID chips, will instead refer to those chips by other names, calling them "contactless chips" or other terms. Does this doublespeak remind you of anything? War is Peace. Love is Hate. Congress equals Progress.

I'm not sure which is worse: our government doing this to us... or our letting them.


Blog Tag: News   Blog Tag: Opinion

My Cape, Please

I watched an episode of ER recently in which a man was wearing a superhero costume under his clothes. It was a comfort to him since the death of his wife a few weeeks earlier. I can sympathise with him. (Worry not, my wife is alive and kicking. Every time I snore.)

When I was about 4 or 5 years old, I had a Superman costume my parents had gotten me for Halloween. I loved that costume. At the time, I was afraid of the dark. There were two things that alleviated that anxiety. One was a flashlight (and I still love flashlights). The other was my Superman costume.

Now, I knew that wearing the costume didn't make me Superman. I didn't try flying off the roof or anything. But somehow, wearing it made me feel stronger, more confident. Enough that the dark didn't scare me. I remember the feeling it gave me. And sometimes, when life is laughing at me, I wish I still had my Superman suit.


Blog Tag: Chatter

It's Not For The Weak

My wife went for her annual checkup a few days ago, and the doctor, Michelle, (well, nurse practitioner, actually), asked how Connie was doing. Connie described some minor complaints that she'd been experiencing, things we'd never had to worry about as teenagers.

Connie says, "This aging thing is a pain."

To which Michelle replies, "Yes. It's not for the weak."

Welcome to Spring, everyone. :)


Blog Tag: Chatter

Mraakk!

If you're not into squirrels, how about a Cat Translation Dictionary for you cat lovers out there? The site has lots of other cat stuff too.

gakk-ak-ak: My digestive passages seem to have formed a hairball. Wherever could this have come from? I shall leave it here upon the carpeting.

Blog Tag: Links

Nuts!

Fun little Flash game where you flick peanuts over a goal defended by squirrels. Just move your hand where you want it and click your finger down until the peanut is in front of your finger and release. Whee!


Blog Tag: Links   Blog Tag: Amusements

Lowering the Bar

Have you ever noticed, at the beginning of many animated movies like The Incredibles, that the movie starts with a low-quality sequence? Then the sequence ends and you admire the high quality of the animation that follows. They've lowered your expectations so that when they present the real thing it doesn't seem worse than real life, it seems better than the cruddy animation they started you on.

Unless you're hiding in a cave with Osama bin Laden, you probably know by now that the new Star Wars movie will be opening May 19, and the Revenge of the Sith trailer is available on the web. I almost wonder if the reason that the last two installments of the Star Wars series had a higher suck factor is to lower your expectations for the upcoming finale. Only someone like George Lucas could get away with something like that...

Nah.


Blog Tag: Chatter

Attacked by Aliens

We have two cats. Ringo is the Maine Coon, a big, white and orange cat with long, soft fur. A lot of fur. I can't say just how much fur he has, but let me reassure you that the phrase "the fur was flying" is not just an expression. Unfortunately, Ringo is not as fastidious a feline as most cats are reputed to be. Which is to say, in a less delicate way, that he doesn't clean himself very well after using the catbox.

This morning, after discovering dried material under Ringo's tail, we had to take matters into our own hands. (I'll forgive you if you stop reading now.) We put Ringo in the sink and used a sprayer to rinse his nether regions. If you're familiar with cats at all, you'll realize that his reaction was not a good one. It took two of us, one holding him in place and the other one performing the dirty work. (Guess who got the dirty work?)

I'm pleased to report that, despite his struggles and yowling protestations, we succeeded in returning his hindquarters to a more pristine condition. We wonder, though, if he noticed afterward that he was cleaner, and understood what we were up to. Without language, there is a gap between humans and animals that cannot be bridged. Does Ringo suspect us of molesting him? Will he have nightmares of aliens with rectal probes?

There's just no way to know.


Blog Tag: Chatter

I Won!

Woot! The Engadget blog has chosen me in a random drawing, and I won a Treo 650 cellphone (a cool Smartphone). It's those strokes of luck that make it easier to slog through life's misfortunes. I hope the Lady smiles on you as well.


Blog Tag: Announcements

Beware the Ides of March

Huh?


Blog Tag: Chatter

10 Things to Learn

I'm a sucker for lists. I especially love lists that distill knowledge to a manageable collection of rules of thumb. Here's one I found by way of a path I took starting at Smarter Stuff:

10 Things I Have Learned by Michael Glaser

1. You can only work for people that you like.


2. If you have a choice never have a job.


3. Some people are toxic; avoid them.


4. The good is the enemy of the great.


5. Less is not necessarily more.


6. Style is not to be trusted.


7. How you live changes your brain.


8. Doubt is better than certainty.


9. Solving the problem is more important than being right.


10. Tell the truth.

I agree whole-heartedly with each and every one of these.

Blog Tag: Links   Blog Tag: Opinion

Audio Headset / Adapter

I just received a PQTAA Audio Headset / Adapter for my Pocket PC (a Toshiba e750). The PQTAA uses one of those cool new retractable reels so the cable stores nicely. I have Skype on my PPC so I can make free VOIP calls to other Skype users, or for a few cents a minute call people connected to the telephone network. The headset has a volume control, a built-in microphone, a lapel clip and an earplug. The earplug can be removed and replaced with your favorite stereo headphones. Wonderful little device.


Blog Tag: Links

NASA World Wind

I just installed NASA World Wind and I'm simply amazed at how smoothly it runs, all the features it has and the fact that NASA produced it. World Wind lets you move around the world in real time, spinning a globe if you're zoomed out, or exploring a particular city or area if you're zoomed in. You choose the orientation, and the zoom, and you can look down from a bird's eye view or tilt the camera and observe by looking across the land.

It can render areas using topo maps, or satellite photos, or using a variety of other sources. It's simply incredible. And it can overlay many types of information, including latitude/longitude lines, place names, landmarks, political boundaries, and more. It renders in 3D, so when you're looking across the landscape the mountains rise up into the sky and obscure the land beyond.

This is not a game. After exploring the program a bit, and zooming in and out (with the Home and End keys), it would behoove you to spend a few minutes reading the key chart in help and exploring the different ways of viewing the display.

It's a huge download, about 175mb, but well worth it if you love maps and geography and have a fast computer with lots of space (and a fast internet connection).


Blog Tag: Links

The Best Way to a Woman's Heart

So I came across a new web site called Brainboost that uses a search engine to answer your questions in plain English, and I asked it the following:

Question:
What is the best way to a woman's heart?

Top answer:
And as for thinking that there "is a female somewhere with a heart," I offer you this advice: the best way to a womans heart is through her uterus.

Technology is your friend.


Blog Tag: Links

Wrong, Wrong, Wrong

According to this article at MSNBC News, ChoicePoint not only invades your privacy and sells your personal information to just about anyone who wants it, what they say about you can be "riddled with errors."


Blog Tag: News

Funny Looking Dog

Load up the Windows Mobile web site and check out the Personalize Your Device section under Tips and Tricks. "Show off a picture of your dog" it says.

Via Mikehall's Embedded WebLog.


Blog Tag: Links

A Bell Curve in Time

Life is a bell curve. We live in the present, at the top of the curve, where the events of most import to us are in the recent past or near future. But our lives stretch into the past, and are not isolated from it. Everything that we have seen, everything that we have done and felt has shaped who we are today. We cannot escape it, no matter how far in the past it may be, no matter how much we would put things behind us. Likewise, our future is shaped by our current situation, and what we do today cannot be totally undone, if at all. We live with those irrevocable errors we made in the past, and those we do today will stay with us until the far end of the curve.

At any instant, life is but a frame in the film of our lives, the past having been projected, the future still in the reel. But there's always the preview of coming attractions. :)


Blog Tag: Opinion

What Was I Thinking?

Okay, I get the feeling that hardly anyone is reading this blog, but no matter. I'll just keep posting, albeit maybe not so frequently.

The latest acquisition in my collection of blog feeds is Cognitive Daily, which features "A new cognitive psychology article every day." The articles so far have been well-written and quite accessible. I especially enjoyed the article on how we decide what we're seeing, which features (among other things) a painting by Salvador Dali. Another fascinating article was the one on what we're doing when we watch a movie, which examines our ability to predict what happens next in the story.


Blog Tag: Links

Chasing Sheep

Fun game (via ChasingDaisy) at Sheep. Safe for work, if you turn down the sound and don't feel kinky about sheep.


Blog Tag: Links   Blog Tag: Amusements

Graham Crackers? Really?

Turns out Graham crackers have quite an interesting story to them. Who woulda guessed?


Blog Tag: Links

Oops 404

I'm strangely amused by those little web pages that claim to be the end of the Internet. I also enjoy creative Error 404 pages when you enter a bad URL. Here's one with Flash that I found recently: 404


Blog Tag: Links

Previous Archive - February 2005